Lately I have had a slew of thoughts swarming my mind. Some of those thoughts are dreams, like owning a Model X Tesla ;). The thoughts that are more proactive, are the ones I would like to focus on here. These thoughts started coming around the same time I prayed my way out of depression. **Disclaimer: My story will not necessarily be your story, I just want to share this with you.** Yes, you read correctly, depression. I am a Christian and struggle daily, just as most of you. I decided that while in my “slump” I should continue to pray (possibly even more now), change my focus to reading the Bible more, and begin actually listening to God. No lie, it was hard trying to stay positive when all my mind could see was negative. That’s the back story to what I want to tell you next.

In changing the way I was originally doing things, (which I later found out to be MY way) I noticed my thoughts starting to look different. I could see a few more things positive throughout the day, that before I was unable to see. Those thoughts didn’t make all of my depression disappear in the blink of an eye, but they began to give me hope. In that hope, I eventually found vision. I don’t mean the vision my new glasses gives me, I mean spiritual vision. For many years I have fought writing. It wasn’t something I found interest in, or so I thought. How was I supposed to understand this was something God wanted for me? I had to find my vision. On my part, it took some really difficult work. I had to do things I felt were unnecessary, and if I chose not to do them because of how strongly {I felt} they were unnecessary, I found my self repeating a similar cycle until I would finally cave and just simply do it (found out the hard way as stated in a previous blog). I most definitely had to get out of my comfort zone! Attached with that, I had to learn that when I said yes, it wasn’t that I said yes, it was how I said yes. Was I willingly saying yes, or was I saying yes just so I didn’t have to repeat the same thing ’till I got it right? These things are just a small preview of events that took place in finding my vision.

I was talking with my husband earlier today, trying to explain some future goals, as I was speaking with him I had an “ahh-haa” moment! I asked the question – “how am I supposed to tell someone about my goal, when I can’t show them it’s completion? All while knowing this goal is from God and feeling very confident He is going to do it?” After listening to a few suggestions from my amazing husband, I ended up answering my self. I compared it to the movie “Field of Dreams.” If you have not seen this movie, I totally suggest it. Kevin Costner played a farmer who kept hearing a voice say “If you build it, he will come.” The farmer’s vision was to build a baseball field in the middle of his corn field. Crazy, irrational, he didn’t understand why; but he did it. Because he did it, it ended up saving his farm. He couldn’t hear why, he couldn’t even see why, he just chose to DO it. What could your field be? Maybe it’s starting your own business, maybe it’s talking to someone who looks different than you, maybe it’s feeding the homeless, or gathering toys for kids during Christmas? When you fully trust that you’re being told to “build your field” go for it!

Prayer: 

Taking a step of faith is so difficult for us to do, because we usually think to much. Allow our thoughts to remain on what you want and need from us. We want to “build the fields” you desire us to build. Give us strength, courage, and wisdom in order to do it. In Jesus name. – Amen.