I can not believe how quickly time has progressed since my divorce. Every day I wake up, take a breath, and I remain thankful for the right here, right now moment. I wake up each day living in something I hadn’t planned on. I’d be naive not to admit that divorce is difficult; it’s even harder when children are involved. I honestly believe that there is a grieving process that comes with divorce. I’ve had to lay goals and expectations to rest. Initially, this was extremely difficult, but I have learned to accept the current situation and make the best of it.

For example, my son just came be-bopping in because he wanted a hug; his bright-eyed innocence captures my heart when he just runs up to me expecting me to embrace him with open arms, and I do every time. I slow down my agenda to accommodate his. This is what I mean by embracing every moment. I try not to let all the demands of the day overwhelm the person my children need me to be.

Let me break that down a little more. As a child myself, growing up in a high-tension environment, I never knew what could set off the ticking time bomb. To maintain peace among everyone, I learned to accommodate others. As a result, I lost my voice, I lost the willingness to pursue personal happiness, and I gained the dreaded ability to put everything I could into ensuring those around me were happy.

You may be asking yourself, ‘Why is this important to the story above?’

Well, before, during, and after my divorce, that little girl mentality was being healed. I no longer think it is my responsibility to make others happy. However, because I have experienced childhood trauma, I do acknowledge my experiences and hope to never project the same experiences on my children. Essentially, I want to break the generational “curses”, let them end with me. Instead, I consider the things I wasn’t offered as a child and choose those instead. Living in the moment, creating memories in the present, joining in the fun, and bringing them along for all the little laughs has been one of the most healing aspects of my journey.

So what is it that is awakening in me right now?

Presence. Even if chaos surrounds me, I am determined to stay in the moment. Sometimes that looks like my daughter laughing and wondering why I can always open the jar she struggled so hard to open. Or we put the windows down, sunroof open, and blast “Fight Song” together after a hard day. I never want to discredit ordinary moments that have the potential to create lasting memories.

Peace. This isn’t the kind of peace that means everything is neatly put together in a box. It’s the peace that surpasses our understanding, meaning that even when my calendar is overbooked, schoolwork is stressing me out, or the kids are being extra child-like… I am still choosing calm in the chaos. I’m awakening the ability to laugh and choose joy instead of crying.

Permission. This allows me the opportunity to take up space. I can speak gently and still be strong. I no longer want to simply survive; I want to thrive. I am becoming the person I needed when I was younger. I am learning to accept that even the messiest things can be beautiful. Just because it’s dirty, it doesn’t mean it is a failure.

Healing does not always mean forgetting. I am learning to honor my past, acknowledging the pain and choosing to rise above it.

Perhaps my story resonates with something in your life that encourages personal growth. Or you are also awakening to something tangible in your life. Real moments of reflection, real pain, and real healing. Maybe it is a quiet strength, a journey to follow a dream, or building courage each day. Whatever it is, know that you are not alone.

Personal experience reminds me that sometimes, growth can become draining. I am praying with you. I am praying for your fight. I am praying for your pain to heal. I am praying for your strength to overcome. You are more capable than you even know. Sleeping Giant, Arise!